Recent studies by a team of researchers led by Dr. Leo Spaceman, head of the Department of Gullibility and Idiocy Studies at the University of Fake University Land found that over 93% of people will immediately believe anything they read if it has the appearance of a news article. “I can’t believe how stupid everyone is. It is truly shocking. My job is so depressing. I hate everyone,” said Spaceman. “You can literally say anything and pretty much nobody will be able to recognize it as a joke if you write it like a news article. You don’t even need a source, it’s ridiculous. Everyone is stupid.” If you look to your left, you’ll see a turtle. Statistics show that you are 100% likely to be sitting next to a turtle.